Romance in Movies & Novels
This is Richard Bach's quote: “Can miles truly separate you... If you want to be with someone you love, aren't you already there?”
Is it really possible for the mind, body or sour to feel fulfilled even at a distance from the beloved? Then why does the mind/body/soul long for nearness?
In this a passage from the book version of Gone with the Wind, Scarlett announces to Rhett she has decided not to have any more children.
“He turned, as though the subject were closed, and left the room. She sat down abruptly. She had had her way. This was what she wanted and Ashley wanted. But it was not making her happy. Her vanity was sore and she was mortified at the thought that Rhett had taken it all so lightly, that he didn't want her, that he put her on the level of other women in other beds. She wished she could think of some delicate way to tell Ashley that she and Rhett were no longer actually man and wife. But she knew now she could not. It all seemed a terrible mess now and she half heartedly wished she had said nothing about it. She would miss the long amusing conversations in bed with Rhett when the ember of his cigar glowed in the dark. She would miss the comfort of his arms .Suddenly she felt very unhappy and leaning her head on the arm of the chair, she cried.”
Scarlett told Rhett to his face that she wouldn’t sleep with him, but she understood she would miss the beautiful night time conversations and the comfort of his arms. We know she doesn’t have any high feelings for him but she feels disappointed. She doesn’t invest herself emotionally in her relationship with Rhett. She decides to deprive him in an area which she knows is important to him. Here there is no tenderness and no cunningness either. Finally it is she who is disappointed by her decision. Is her act one of cunning and cruelty or just assertion of her preferences as a woman?
"Had Robert lived nearby she may never have responded to him or her response may have quickly dissipated by fear of social condemnation. The fact that he came and then left helped her keep alive the dream. There are many possibilities, but the essential truth is that we discover romance in ourselves. The other person only facilitates that discovery. We all may long to experience it and dream of living it, but how many of us have the strength and courage to live always unprotected, exposed and vulnerable, to give all we are to another with no assured returns of any kind? Those who are capable of that attitude can discover romance in any relationship, because the romance lies within themselves."
Great Article. The article contains many eye openers - or heart openers.
'..the essential truth is that we discover romance in ourselves. The other person only facilitates that discovery.' - I beleive this statement applies to events and inanimate objects too for they too facilitate the discovery of joy - if we cannot use the term Romance there.
In the movie Waitress, Jenna's relationship with her husband Earl is extremely turbulent. He provides her with a comfortable living. At the same time, he is controlling, dominating, possessive, suspicious, abusive, violent, fearful, disgusting, etc. He is all that any woman would not want in a man. Jenna is a fine person but cannot love Earl. If she had changed her attitude of hatred and fear and tried to develop a liking for him, could she have made her marriage work and made her life much better than it was? Could her love have changed him and made him dropped his hateful behavior? Could she have had a possibility for greater joy in her life if she stayed with him but taken a different attitude?
It is an age-old knowledge that life responds to changes in our attitudes and feelings. When we become more positive in our inner consciousness, external circumstances and events become more positive as well. This holds true for romantic love as well. If we take efforts to make our attitudes more positive and express higher qualities in our relationship, we attract more positive responses from our partner. One man stopped badgering his partner about her lack of organization in financial matters. Suddenly his partner changed her behavior unasked and received a huge and unexpected assistance from a bank to help her clear up her finances.
Similarly, many instances can be cited to show that if we take the high road in our worldly activities, we can attract the partner of our dreams. In each of the cases posted below this message in the forum, the individual aspired for a deep, meaningful relationship with someone and achieved the goal by taking a higher, more positive attitude in a different area of his life. One man did so by developing greater psychological strength to resist the unreasonable demands of his boss. Another offered his services to help a young man out of difficulty, and that act of goodwill attracted an ideal woman he had just begun to dream about. A third decided to change his nature from pride selfishness to humility self-givingness, and attracted a woman to marriage he so dearly loved. Whether we take to higher levels of harmony in our relationship or to higher levels of consciousness in our outside life, we can attract greater romance in our lives in the shape through a new relationship or by enhancing an existing one.
In the movie 'Waitress', the relationship between the doctor and Jenna helps her largely and he serves a very useful purpose in her life.
This quotation from The Virtues of Harmony, an early essay by Sri Aurobindo, describes woman’s capacity to allure, tease and tempt man romantically. Does this capacity arise from cruelty or from a desire to make herself more attractive and to give her lover greater satisfaction? What does it tell us about the true nature of romantic attraction?
“Have you never learned by experience or otherwise how a girl will torment her favoured lover by a delicate and impalpable evasion of his desires and will not give him even the loan of a kiss without wooing, but must be infinitely entreated and stretch him on the rack of a half-serious refusal and torture him with the pangs of hope just as a cat will torture a mouse, yet all the while means to give him everything he asks for and would indeed be more bitterly disappointed than he, if any accident precluded her from making him happy? … And this trait in women we impute to feminine insincerity and to maiden coyness and to everything but the real motive, and that is the primitive and eternal passion of cruelty appearing in the coarse fibre of man as crude and inartistic barbarity, but in the sweet and delicate soul of woman as a refined and beautiful playfulness and the inseparable correlative of a gentle and suave disposition. … will she not harmonize the phases other dalliance, and hesitate on the brink of yielding just at the proper pitch of his despair, and elude his kiss just at the proper pitch of his expectancy, and fan his longing when it sinks, and check it when it rises, and surrender herself when he is smouldering with hopeless passion? … But she will not do this grossly and palpably, but will lead up to everything by looks and tones and gestures so as to glide from one to the other without his perceiving and will sweeten the hard and obvious form by the flavour of the simple and natural, yet will be all the while the veriest coquette and artist in flirtation. …But if she is perfect in the art, will she not, even when repulsing him most cruelly, allow a secret tenderness to run through her words and manner, and when she is most tenderly yielding, will she not show the sharp edge of asperity through the flowers, and in a word allow the blended cruelty and sweetness of her soul to be just palpable to his perceptive senses?”