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During the phase of romatic pursuit, lovers concentrate only of the positive side of the other person. After marriage, most concentrate only on the other side.  

— Karmayogi

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Titanic

Titanic The beauty and intensity of pure romance between a beautiful, 17 year old American socialite and a vagabond artist is dramatically portrayed against the luxurious backdrop of the 'Titanic'’s maiden voyage from England to New York. The story is aesthetically narrated to show how they are drawn together by such powerful bonds of devotion that each is willing to sacrifice his/her own lifefor the sake of the other.

 

Articles on Titanic
Rose and Jack’s relationship is a fine example of the powerful bonds of Devotion - Level 8 in the Scale of Romance. See the article and videos.
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Plot Summary

In April 1912, Rose is returning from Europe with her fiancée Cal Hockley and her mother in company with many of the rich and famous of their day. Her father died leaving them a prestigious name, but no money to support the luxurious lifestyle to which they were accustomed. Therefore, her mother presses her to sacrifice herself for the good of the family, by agreeing to marry Cal, whom she does not love or even like very much. As a token of his commitment, Cal presents her with a fabulous blue diamond pendant. To him, she is another beautiful object to add to his collection. Rose feels suffocated by her mother’s pretentions, her fiancée’s arrogance, the dead conventional formality of high society and the meaningless life being pressed upon her. In rebellion she rushed to the stern of the ship and contemplates suicide. Jack sees her passing by, suspects her intentions, and intervenes just in time to save her life when she slips off the edge of the ship.

Their fortuitous meeting leads quickly to intimate friendship and romance. Jack seems to understand her better than she herself does. Perceiving a remarkable strength in her character that refuses to accept the fate imposed by society, he counsels her not to sell her soul for respect or security, abandoning the freedom she is entitled to inherit. Her whole being expands in joy at his words and responds to his affection with gratitude and passion.

At the peak of their passion, the Titanic hits an iceberg and begins the journey that will soon take it to the bottom of the sea. Meanwhile out of jealousy, Cal has Jack placed under arrest on a false charge of stealing the blue diamond and locked in a cabin on the lower level of the ship. As the ship takes on water and everyone rushes for lifeboats, Rose risks her life to hunt for Jack and frees him from confinement just moments before the lower deck floods. Jack leads her up to the main deck and convinces her to get into one of the few remaining lifeboats, promising to follow, but knowing full well there are no more boats to take him. Reluctantly she gets into the lifeboat and then jumps out again, refusing to leave without him. When the Titanic goes under, Jack manages to place Rose on a floating doorframe, saving her life while he freezes to death in the water. Rose survives, takes on Jack’s last name and starts a new life for herself. Narrating the story when she is passed 100 years old, she relates how their few moments together changes the course of her entire life and how she has spend the last eight decades living up to the promise she made to Jack during his last moments.

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Titanic
Directed by James Cameron
Written by James Cameron
Starring
Leonardo DiCaprio as Jack Dawson,Kate Winslet as Rose Bukater, Billy Zane as Caledon Hockley
Copyright belongs to Twentieth Century-Fox Film Corporation

 

 

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Definitely Maybe

Definitely Maybe The subtle differences between physical and vital attraction, emotional compatibility and romantic love are beautifully illustrated in this story of a handsome young man's love affairs with three lovely women.

 

Articles on Definitely Maybe
The basis of Will’s relationship with the 3 attractive women is analysed in this article on Love, Romance, Sex & Marriage. See the article and videos.
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Plot Summary

Will Hayes, a thirty-something married dad, has just received his divorce papers when his 10 year old daughter, Maya, starts to question him about his life before marriage. Maya wants to know absolutely everything about how her parents met and fell in love. Will's story begins in 1992, as a young, starry-eyed aspiring politician who moves to New York from Wisconsin in order to work on the Clinton campaign. For Maya, Will relives his past as an idealistic young man learning the ins and outs of big city politics, and recounts the history of his romantic relationships with three very different women. Will attempts to narrate the story for his daughter with names changed so Maya has to guess who he finally married.

Will's first love is Emily, lovely co-ed at the University of Wisconsin who he regards as his future wife. He leaves Emily to spend the summer in New York working as a volunteer in Bill Clinton's election campaign, where he meets April, who is making photocopies in the same office. Summer is an old friend of Emily's aspiring to become a political columnist. Will spends the next decade trying to figure out which of the three he really loves.Emily visits New York, and Will proposes in Central Park, but Emily turns him down and confesses she slept with Will's former roommate in Wisconsin. Will is heartbroken. If Emily represents the attractions of a near-perfect wife, Summer was every man's dream of a perfect love affair. Beautiful, intelligent, sexually alluring and aggressive, she took Will's breath away. After a brief period of ecstatic sexual intimacy, he felt hopelessly in love and determined to propose. The very day he planned to give her an engagement ring, Summer published an article exposing the indiscretions of the politician Will was trying to get elected and trashing all hopes for the campaign, for Will's career and for his relationship with Summer. They both realized that Summer was not a woman who needed or could settle down in a permanent relationship. She enjoys freedom too much. Her first priority is her own career. Will walked away furious and deeply disappointed.

He found April extremely attractive but he always felt that intimacy between them would be impossible, because they were so very different and opposite in many respects. They seemed to constantly challenge each other's beliefs and values. After Summer refused him when he proposed, Will got drunk and found the courage to confess to April that he loved her. Clearly moved and deeply in love with Will, April refused to take him on the rebound and told him to get his life together. Sometime later Will meets Emily again, marries and lives with her until Maya is 10 years old. Although they are both good, pleasant people and like each other, the elusive magic of romantic love did not outlast the initial period of infatuation. They never had a serious problem, but something essential was missing. What they had might have been more than enough for a normally successful marriage, but not for someone seeking real romance. Listening to Will's story, Maya perceived what Will had never understood. All the time his real love had been April, only he had been too frightened to admit he loved someone he believed would never accept him. At Maya's insistence, they call on April and the truth of their love for one another becomes evident.

 

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Definitely Maybe
Directed by Adam Brookes
Written by Adam Brookes
Starring Ryan Reynolds as Will Hayes, Isla Fisher as April, Abigail Breslin as Maya Hayes,
Elizabeth Banks as Emily, Rachel Weisz as Summer Hartley
Copyright belongs to Universal Pictures

 

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Possession

Possession Possession is a 2002 motion picture based on the novel of the same name by A. S. Byatt. The film relates the story of two scholars who uncover details of a passionate love affair between two 19th Century English poets. Their exploration of the past breaks down the defensive barriers of their intellectuality and awakens a flame of real emotional intensity. The movie contrasts the social barriers that constrained the relationship between two poets with the psychological barriers that restrain their modern counterparts.

 

Articles on Possession
Maud and Roland’s relationship shows an excellent example of Conflict in Level 2 in the Scale of Romance. Read more and watch video. See the article and videos.
Roland’s abstinence awakens a deeper relationship between them that melts the defensive barriers and leads them to a discovery about themselves. Read about it in the article Love, Romance, Sex & Marriage and watch videos. See the article and videos.
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Plot Summary

Maud Bailey, English poetry professor in her 30s, meets Roland Michell, an American scholar who travels to London on a fellowship. He has yet to break out from under his mentor's shadow until he finds a pair of love letters in the textbook that once belonged to one of his idols, a famous long dead Victorian poet Randolph Henry Ash. Michell, after some sleuthing around, finds out that the letters were not written to his wife but another well known Victorian poet, Christabel LaMotte. Roland enlists the aid of a Dr. Maud Bailey, an expert on the life of the LaMotte. Together they strive to unravel the secret romance between Victorian poets Randolph Henry Ash and Christabel LaMotte.

Neither of the moderns seem made for love and certainly not for each other. They are opposites bordering on contradictions. Bailey is guarded, stiff, irritable, almost frigid British academic, who wants to be addressed as Professor and has a prejudice against all things American. Suspicious of any man’s sexual intentions and eager to avoid relationships, she conceals her beauty to avoid attracting attention to herself. Roland is a casual, friendly, irreverent American who distains British formality. He has had enough of unfulfilling and sometimes hurtful relationships centered around sex and is leery of any intimacy.

As they uncover details of the passionate love affair between Ash and LaMotte, the poetry of that relationship infiltrates their cold hearts and awakens a flame of real emotional intensity. Maud’s heart melts and she feels tempted by the lure of sexual relationship. Uncharacteristically, it is Roland who pulls back for fear of spoiling a relationship he has come to value far more than physical pleasure. Maud feels confused and rejected. Her old fears and suspicions of intimate relationship resurface and they quarrel, yet the real basis for their quarrel is their deeper emotional attraction to one another which ultimately prevails. Delving beneath their surface differences, they discover bonds of genuine attraction and admiration that elevate the whole relationship to a far higher level..

 

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Directed by Neil LaBute
Written by A.S.Byatt (Book),Samuel Taylor(Original play),
Barbara Benedek and David Rayfiel(Screenplay)
Starring Gwyneth Paltrow as Maud Bailey, Aaron Eckhart as Roland Michell,
Jeremy Northam as Randolph Henry Ash, Jennifer Ehle as Christabel LaMotte
Copyright belongs to USA Films and Warner Bros. Pictures

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A Summer Story

A Summer Story is an emotionally gripping tale about romantic love. Set in England in 1902, it is based on Apple Tree by John Galsworthy. It offers a bittersweet anatomy of the mysteries of love and romantic desire. It portrays how compelling physical and emotional attraction my initially obscure and override social considerations, only to reappear later on and play havoc with a relationship.
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Learn how personal emotion clashes with class, caste, and culture in romance and marriage. See the article and videos.
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Plot Summary

The movie starts out with a young barrister Mr. Ashton and his best friend romping around the English countryside. They are forced to take temporary lodging at a farm after spraining his ankle. There Ashton meets the young innocent orphan, Megan who lives with her aunt's family who own the farm. Megan is fully charmed by Frank's elegant behavior, poetic inspiration and genuine attraction for her. In a natural and yet extremely nuanced way, she conveys all the intimacies, exhilarations, secrecy, and daring involved in passionate love. Frank is infatuated by Megan's natural beauty and sincere behavior, unadorned by fancy dress or fine manners. After confessing their mutual affection, they have a brief love affair, before Megan's aunt senses coming trouble and asks Frank to leave. Frank tells Megan he will go to the nearest town, Torquay, to draw some money from the bank and then return to take her back with him to London and eventually make her his wife.

On reaching Torquay, Frank goes to the bank and is told it will take at least five hours to get the necessary telegraphic confirmation from his bank in London, which means he will miss the train back to Megan and be late for their rendezvous. Meanwhile he runs into an old college friend and his friend's beautiful, flirtatious sister Stella. They compel him to spend the intervening time in their company, during which Stella develops an attraction for Frank. Frank returns to the bank that afternoon to find that the telegram has not yet arrived, so he is forced to remain the night in Torquay and hope to catch the last train of the week the following morning. He and Stella spend the evening together and begin to develop feelings for one another. Frank knew that he was honor bound to return for Megan after promising to do so, but the longer he was away from her and the more time he spent with Stella, the more he became conscious of the great social distance separating him from the beautiful country lass and the less eager he was to live up to his promise. The next day he finds that Megan has travelled all the way to Torquay in the hope of locating him, but the cowardly Ashton hides instead of facing the broken-hearted girl.

Twenty years later, he returns to the farm accompanied by Stella, whom he has married. He learns that when Megan returned to the farm from Torquay, she discovered she was pregnant and died giving birth to Frank's child. A timeless story of love and a powerful parable on the importance of decisions, "A Summer Story" tells how our choices can forever alter the course of our lives.

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Directed by Piers Haggard
Written by John Galsworthy (story) and Penelope Mortimer (writer)
Starring James Wilby as Mr. Ashton, Imogen Stubbs as Megan David, Sophie Ward as Stella Halliday
Copyright belongs to Atlantic Entertainment Group

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When Harry met Sally

When Harry met Sally One of the best-loved romantic comedies of all time, this movie poses important questions regarding the nature of successful intimate relationships. When Harry met Sally traces the psychological journey of a man and woman from casual acquaintance and sexual attraction to friendship and emotional intimacy. The story of Harry and Sally depicts a couple who discover how to convert a platonic relationship based on intense reaction into a close friendship love and finally marriage.

 

Articles on When Harry met Sally
Growing in Love - Harry and Sally's relationship is a fine example of Vital Attraction, Level 4 on the Scale of Romance See the article and videos.
Love, Romance, Sex & Marriage - From Sexual Attraction to Friendship to Affection Read the article and videos.
Contrast between two Relationships is brought out in this example of Reaction, Level 4 on the Scale of Harmony Read the article and videos.
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Plot Summary

Harry meets Sally when they share a car ride to New York City upon graduation from the University of Chicago. A few minutes into the trip, the conversation between them becomes heatedly contentious. Harry is strongly attracted to Sally physically. Sally is repulsed by his aggressive manners and obvious sexual intentions.

Over the next 13 years they meet repeatedly, then drift apart and meet again. Each passes through many failed relationships. Harry gets married and divorced. Eventually they develop a close, platonic friendship and find that they understand, like and enjoy each other’s company more than any other relationships they have been in. Observing the changing relationship between their close friends Jess and Marie, they acquire deeper insights into themselves and the challenges that every relationship has to overcome. Finally it dawns on them that life together is far happier and more fulfilling than their other romantic pursuits and an intense intimacy grows between them.

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When Harry Met Sally
Directed by Rob Reiner
Written by Nora Ephron
Starring Meg Ryan as Sally Albright, Bill Crystal as Harry Burns, Carrie Fisher as Marie, Bruno Kirby as Jess
Copyright belongs to CastleRock Entertainment

 

 

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Level 4 - Vital Attraction

Relationship usually begins when one is happy spending time with another, and the attraction has the seal of social approval. He may be attracted to her because of her pleasant manners and behavior. She may be attractive to him because he is considered acceptable or desirable by her friends and family. She takes a personal interest in him which makes him feel good about himself. He may be drawn to her because she is more intense, energetic, more extroverted or having some other attribute that is complementary to his own.


Jane & Bingley (Pride and Prejudice)

 

 

 

 

 

Jane Bennet and Charles Bingley are vitally attracted to each other. Jane is a beautiful, sweet, refined young woman. Bingley is a pleasant and happy young man. They are mutually attracted to one another by their good looks and pleasing manners. They feel lost to the world while in each other’s company. His pleasing personality and considerable wealth make him appear most eligible in the eyes of Jane’s family. Jane’s perfect demeanor wins approval from Bingley’s sisters. George Wickham, a dashing officer who charms the heart of every other female in the area has no effect on Jane. Even a year’s separation coupled with the attractions of London cannot sway Bingley’s emotions to forget her. When they come back together, she accepts him happily, almost without unquestioning his long absence. Everyone around them is struck by their quiet, contented joy and confident that their life together will be always smooth and sweet.

A relationship at this level is based on social acceptance or vital attraction to the energies of the other person. Attraction is more social or psychological than physical, though the physical element may still be prominent. We are attracted to partners who are popular or please us. If the attraction is positive and unselfish, the relationship is pleasant and enjoyable, as in the case of Jane and Bingley, who are both mild, well-mannered, likeable and always anxious to please each other. In some cases, one partner may desire to dominate the relationship or both partners may lack the self-discipline and good behavior required to sustain positive relationships. When egoism and selfishness become predominant, the initial vital attraction can degenerate into disappointment, frustration, jealousy, anger and conflict.

Growing in Love (When Harry met Sally)

When Harry met Sally depicts the psychological journey of a man and woman from casual acquaintance and sexual attraction to friendship and emotional intimacy. Harry meets Sally when they share a car ride to New York City upon graduation from the University of Chicago. A few minutes into the trip, the conversation between them becomes heatedly contentious. Harry is strongly attracted to Sally physically. Sally is repulsed by his aggressive manners and obvious sexual intentions. Over the next 13 years they meet repeatedly, then drift apart and meet again. Each passes through many failed relationships. Harry gets married and divorced. Eventually they develop a close, platonic friendship and find that they understand, like and enjoy each other’s company more than any other relationships they have been in. Finally it dawns on them that life together is far happier and more fulfilling than their other romantic pursuits and an intense intimacy grows between them.

Ben and Katie (The Story of Us)

This movie depicts a turbulent period in the relationship between Katie and Ben Jordan, fifteen years after their marriage, when they have two lovely children and a comfortable home in suburbia. He is a carefree, happy extroverted writer; she a well-organized perfectionist who takes life seriously and can only let go in his company. Initially they were attracted to one another because they were so very different. They have arrived at a point where the very attributes that originally gave liveliness and joy to the relationship have become a source of friction, tension and frequent quarrels. They have come to resent the inherited characteristics that each brings from their own family and background. Acceptance of difference has given place to impatience and intolerance. The strong physical and vital attraction that originally made them feel so strongly for one another has gradually worn thin. Although still socially popular with friends, the initial novelty of their individual differences has lost its charm and with it their patience and tolerance for one another. So they decide to separate and divorce. While carrying out that decision they discover a deeper layer of emotional attachment which they cherish and are unwilling to give up. They recognize that their differences represent strengths by which they complement and complete one another. They realize that in the course of living their lives they had forgotten that their relationship and their children are more important than anything else. Ultimately familiarity, friendship, trust and love of their children prevail and they decide to remain together.

The Robarts (Framely Parsonage)

Time and again we find in life and literature that the positive bonds of human relationship possess a commanding power over life. Mark Robarts is an English clergyman living a comfortable and prosperous life on a £900 income with his affectionate wife Fanny and two small children. They resided at Framley Parsonage under the patronage of the elderly Lady Lufton and her son Lord Lufton, who was a longtime close friend of Mr. Robarts. Having attained financial security, a loving family and social respectability at an early age, Mark aspired to climb higher and was lured by the glittering status of the English aristocracy. Though personally charming and well-educated, Mark had led a sheltered life and was ignorant of the ways of the world. As a result, he was easily duped by an aristocratic MP, Nathaniel Sowerby, who persuaded him to sign counter-guarantee on several promissory notes executed by Sowerby on the assurance that he would never be called upon to pay anything against the note. Mark eventually realizes he has been swindled and decides to accept public humiliation rather than borrowing or asking for assistance from his wealthy benefactors.

Mark is vain and foolish, but he is a responsible husband who is faithful and deeply attached to his wife and children. He now finds himself confronted with the onerous task of telling his faithful wife about his catastrophic folly and the public humiliation and severe financial straits to which the entire family would now be subjected. Very rarely in life or literature do we meet a female character like Fanny Robarts. Though a strong English woman and formed individual in her own right, in one respect Fanny resembled far more closely the fading ideal of Indian womanhood. For she considered it her highest duty and greatest privilege to stand by her husband through any ordeal, no matter how severe the trials or how much it may be of his own making. Rather than sit quietly judging him while he confessed his sins to her, she rushed over to stand by his side and demanded the right to share fully the burden that had fallen on his shoulders. Though it did not change the material consequences of his position one iota, Mark immediately felt the burden lifted from his soul by the sympathetic support of a loyal and affectionate wife. Mark and Fanny are saved from infamy and elevated by life at the very next moment when Lufton announces his determination to marry Mark’s sister Lucy. In a trice, the creditors were banished and the Robarts rose through a marriage alliance with the most distinguished family in the county.

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