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Romance is a reckless adventure of emotion that flies in the face of practical reality and sound rationality.

— Karmayogi

Scale of Harmony

Harmony is the foundation for successful relationships. Greater harmony generates greater joy and lasting fulfillment. It also eliminates bouts of stress and conflict which periodically spoil an otherwise good relationship. Assess the current level of harmony in your relationship and learn how you can take it to a higher level.


  • The 10 statements listed below represent different levels of harmony in relationship, listed from lower to higher. Read and select the statement which most accurately describes the current status of your relationship.
  • If you want more information or examples regarding any level, click Read More.
  • Once you have identified the present level of your relationship, learn how to raise your relationship to a higher level. Applying these strategies seriously is sure to generate significant results in a short period of time. See Strategies to Increase Harmony in Your Relationship
  • If you are not fully satisfied with the results you obtain by applying the strategies, Submit your problem and describe your situation so that IRES can provide you personalized expert advice for improving your relationship.
  • If you already enjoy a very high level of harmony in your relationship, assess your relationship on the Scale of Romance or see the Unfailing Strategies for Love & Romance.


How harmonious is your relationship?

1. Opposition: Our relationship is characterized by shouting, mean accusations, deceit, or threats of violence which are becoming increasingly negative and destructive. Partners at this level see and relate to one another as opposites and irreconcilable contradictions. Read More

2. Conflict: Our relationship is characterized by frequent quarrels, anger, resentment, and emotional confrontations, which make the overall relationship very unpleasant. Partners at this level relate to each other through fear, suspicion, resentment and mutual accusation. Read More

3. Domination: We quarrel intensely on occasion, then make up again after some time and things go back to routine. There is a constant struggle of will between the partners. One or both partners try to dominate each other and make the other person change. Read More

4. Reaction: We feel frequent irritation and an underlying tension between us that permeates all aspects of our relationship. Partners are extremely sensitive to each other's words and behavior and react strongly to what they find disagreeable. Read More

5. Judgment: Even when we strongly disagree, we do so without intense emotion or personal reaction, then quickly put the issue behind us. Disharmony expresses in a more subtle form as teasing, making fun of one another, mockery or sarcasm. Read More

6. Compromise: We have learned to discuss and disagree without disturbance to the underlying positive feeling in our relationship. Partners maintain good manners and behavior at all times. Read more

7. Tolerance: Disagreements are mild and rare and never dampen the strong bond of positive feeling between us. Partners may not always fully agree or appreciate each other, but they have learned to accept and become tolerant of their differences. Read More

8. Appreciation: Both of us actively strive to accommodate the other person's point of view and accept whatever will please the other. Partners have learned to take each other’s point of view and to genuinely appreciate the truth, value and validity in it. Read More

9. Freedom: Our disagreements remind us of our complementary natures and individual uniqueness and bring us even closer together. Partners feel an unvarying and intense goodwill for one another. They have the infinite patience needed to give each other complete freedom to express their individuality. Read More

10. Complementarity: Our relationship is one of ever-increasing joy of harmonious energies. Partners at this level relate to each other through pure self-giving that expects nothing in return. They recognize each other as a spiritual complement that fulfill and completes them. Read More

Learn more about each of the ten levels with detailed explanations, examples and movie videos

  1. Opposition
  2. Conflict
  3. Domination
  4. Reaction
  5. Judgment
  6. Compromise
  7. Tolerance
  8. Appreciation
  9. Freedom
  10. Complementarity

See the practical and unfailing strategies for ascending the scale of harmony in your relationship

If you would like to raise general questions on romance, love, marriage and relationship or about any of the content in this article, please post your entry in the appropriate forums

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